


A Secret Worth Telling

by Winterbells



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Homophobic John Winchester, I really don't like John Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 02:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterbells/pseuds/Winterbells
Summary: What if Amara had not only brought back Mary but also John, everything is great the whole family is back together again, but Dean isn’t exactly sure he wants his homophobic father to find out about his angel boyfriend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

“Dean you gave me what I needed  most, I want to do the same for you” Amara said cryptically before disappearing along with Chuck. It looked kind of beautiful, Light and Darkness merging together as one, they couldn’t exist without each other. 

Dean had no idea what Amara had meant when she said she wanted to give him what he needed the most, what he needed right now was a way home. His phone didn’t work, he was in the middle of God knows where, literally, and he needed to tell Sam and Cas that he wasn’t dead. He saw lights and a road up ahead, so he headed that way, but as he got closer he could hear voices, a man and a women. He hurried towards them to see if they could help, but when he was close enough to see them properly he stopped. This couldn’t be “Mum?” Dean uttered, voice soft and surprised “Dad?” 

His mother’s last memory was burning in the nursery, she still remembered four year old Dean clear as day. His dad on the other hand, remembered the deal he made to save Dean’s life but had no memory of his time in hell. They were all at different points in time, but they were family and family was always there for each other. 

“After you made the deal, you were in hell, I’m not sure how long, but you were there a long time,” Dean told his father “Azazel, the yellow eyed demon, fed other kids his blood there were more, like Sammy” he explained “He was kidnapped along with all the others, they were forced to fight against each other to see who would lead the Demon Army. Sam died”

“NO” his mother exclaimed “Mum, wait it’s okay, he’s alive,” he informed her quickly “How?” John asked sternly, still the drill sergeant, Dean was happy John was alive but, he wasn’t the soldier son he had raised anymore. He was a grown man, almost forty and he was happy, he didn’t need to be bossed around anymore. 

“I sold my soul for his” Dean said unapologetically. “YOU IDIOT, I GAVE MY LIFE FOR YOU. I TOLD YOU IF YOU COULDN’T SAVE HIM-” John started yelling  “HE’S MY BROTHER, HE’S ALL I HAD” Dean stood his ground. “Stop it both of you. Dean this was almost ten years ago, right? We don’t have much time but we’ll figure something out” she said, there was no way she was going to lose her boy just after she got him back. 

“It’s okay mum, the deal was one year for Sam’s life. I’ll explain but we have to keep moving ok?” Dean said. They had been walking for half an hour when Dean decided to just high jack a car and drive the rest of the way. “So, after I saved Sam, Azazel opened the gates of hell, you escaped dad and we killed the demon. We also managed to close the gates again, but a lot of demons escaped.” He told his parents once they were settled in the car. “How did you get out of the deal?” His father asked unkindly. “I’ll get there” Dean answered in the same tone. Mary was quietly sitting in the back seat. She could see the tension between her husband and son and wondered what could have happened that made it so bad. She died, yes but she wanted John to take her boys and raise them, not go on some crazed revenge suicide run and make her boys hunters, a life she tried to escape. She wanted to talk about that but she needed to catch up on everything up to that moment, this could wait. 

“A little while after that we met Ruby, she was a demon. You have to understand, so many demons escaped and the world was crawling with them, we couldn’t deal with all of them and she offered to help” Dean stated “You trusted a demon?” John asked outraged “You know what, just shut up. You weren’t there, you don’t get to pass judgement. Thank you for saving my life, but this stops now. You want to know the story? You keep quiet” That shut him up. John couldn’t believe what he was hearing, Dean had never raised his voice at him, whatever John said, Dean did like a good little soldier, a lot of things must have happened while he was dead.

“She helped us, she gave us a demon killing dagger and she helped Bobby rebuild the colt. I never trusted her, but Sam did and that was a terrible mistake. Sam found out about the deal and tried to find the demon, she refused to back out of the deal so Sam killed her, but the contract wasn’t broken,” Dean said as he pulled over in front of the bunker. “I went to hell.” He said somberly “Well, here it is home sweet home” the change of tone didn’t go unnoticed by the older Winchesters, Dean avoided telling them about Cas up until now but that wasn’t going to last very long. He wasn’t ashamed of him, on the contrary he loved his angel so fucking much, and he was sure his mother would love him too, his father on the other hand, well John Winchester wasn’t known for his open mindedness. He led the way down the stairs “Sam? Cas?” He asked, he needed to hug his brother and kiss his angel, but no there was no answer. That’s when he noticed the blood on the floor.

He drew his gun, he handed the one on his ankle to his mother and the one hidden under the table next to the entrance to his father. “Stay here” he ordered them. He went to the hallway to check the bedroom and of course his parents didn’t listen to him and went to the War Room to check it out, guns out. Upon entering, they spotted a man with shaggy dark hair, bright blue eyes and a dirty trench coat. “Who are you and where’s Sam?” he barked. John wasted no time and emptied his gun on him, but it barely fazed the man. 

Dean came running in at the sound of gunshots. “Dad, NO. Stop” he yelled. “Cas” Dean let out barely above a whisper. The man, Cas, seemed shocked for all of two seconds before he was pulling the eldest Winchester boy into his arms. “You’re alive” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear, tears running down his face, Dean was hugging him back just as fiercely momentarily forgetting his parents’s presence in the room. John coughed after a few minutes and the two pulled apart. They stared at each other, Dean silently conveying that he didn't want his parents to know about them, at least not yet. Castiel nodded in silent agreement.

“Mum, dad this is Castiel. Cas these are my parents”  Dean felt like he was a fifteen year old girl introducing his parents to her boyfriend. I mean he was introducing his parents to his boyfriend, but they didn’t know that, nor was he fifteen and he was most definitely not a girl.

“What are you?” John demanded gruffly “I shot you at least five times and you don’t even look like you felt it”. “Yes, thank you for that. I am an angel of the Lord” Castiel said calmly. “Bullshit” John exclaimed. 

At the same time Mary asked “Angels are real?” “Well, if demons exist I think it’s safe to assume that angels are real too. I assume Dean hasn’t told you about me yet” Castiel said. “Yes I was getting to that” Dean glared at his boyfriend. “Where’s Sam, Cas?” He asked. You could see Castiel’s demeanor drop entirely “I don’t know, we came here after you went off to die, and a woman, British, was here. She said she was a man of letters, she blasted me away and when I came back, Sam was gone and your father shot me.” Castiel explained. “I thought the men of letters were myths” Mary said. “Well not exactly, it’s a long story, but basically, Henry Winchester was a man of letters, he didn’t abandon you dad, he got stuck here with us and he gave up his life to save me and Sam. We’re legacies. You were supposed to be a man of letters too, but they were all killed by a knight of hell.” Dean told them.

“I need you guys to wait here, please” he asked his parents and waited until they both nodded to go to the kitchen with Cas. 

“I’m sorry, Cas, everything just happened so fast, we need to find Sam and then I’ll tell them about us, just give me a moment” Dean begged. “Dean, I love you. If time is what you need I’ll give you all the time in the world. We do need to concentrate on getting Sam back. I’ll go track him, when I find something I’ll call you. You need to stay here with your parents.” Cas leaned in for a chaste kiss and then headed towards the door. “Wait,” Dean said “here, take the Impala,” he handed Cas the keys. Cas went down to the garage and Dean went back up to his where his parents were.

“Castiel is going to track down Sam and the British woman, meanwhile, I need to tell you the rest of the story”. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

“Technically I was in hell for four months” Dean said “but time passed differently there, it was more like forty years.” Mary gasped, this wasn't what she wanted for her children. John just sat there, face stoic, showing no emotion. He was never really the loving father type, but he could at least pretend to feel bad for Dean.

“That’s where Cas comes in, he grabbed me and pulled me out of hell” Dean couldn’t help but smile fondly, when he met Cas he had stabbed him and refused to believe he was an angel, not unlike his father. Dean had grown so much since then, he’d accepted who he was, and more importantly some where along the way he had come to love himself too. 

“When God caged Lucifer he put up thousands of seals, but only 66 had to be broken in order for Lucifer to go free,” Dean was sure his parents were not going to like this part, he felt so guilty for letting Sam down, he tried so hard, but it wasn’t enough. 

“I was brought back to stop the seals from breaking, Sam, he, he was influenced by Ruby, he started drinking demon blood. I tried to stop him, but I couldn’t. Turns out Ruby was playing us all along, and Lucifer escaped the cage” Dean explained. “Lucifer? As in the Devil?” Mary asked. “How could you be this stupid Dean, all you had to do was look after your brother and you couldn’t even do that” John was always hard on Dean and Dean always took it but not anymore. “I did the best that I could” 

“John, please, just let him finish” Mary pleaded. “When we let Lucifer out, we started the apocalypse. According to Chuck, Sam was Lucifer’s vessel on Earth and I was Michael’s. We were supposed to let them in and they would fight, Michael would win and there would be peace on Earth, except half of it would be dead” Dean paused for a moment “Who’s Chuck?” Mary asked, Dean smiled at this “I’ll explain in a bit, of course we weren’t going to let half the population die, so we tried to come up with another plan, I went back in time to try and convince you to not make a deal with Azazel, but that didn’t work out and your memory was wiped” he said to Mary. 

“When I told Michael I wouldn’t be his vessel, he brought Adam back to life” John raised his head at this and sent a warning glare at Dean “Adam’s our half-brother he died a few years ago and he said yes to Michael, we found a way to open Lucifer’s cage and Sam said yes to him and let himself be trapped” John was glaring daggers at him, whether it was because he just told his mum John had another son or because he let Sam be trapped with Lucifer forever he wasn’t sure, so he kept going before John started yelling again.

“I tried to keep going after that, I knew he wasn’t coming back, and I almost succeeded, but Cas was able to pull Sam’s body from the cage. Crowley brought your dad back to life as his errand boy.” Dean was talking to his mother more than his father at this point “My dad’s alive?” Mary asked hopefully “No, Sam killed him, he was infected by a Khan Worm and Sam had to shoot him” he explained “Okay, but who’s Crowley?” she asked “He’s the king of hell, how about we leave the questions till the end, okay?” Dean said politely and Mary quieted down. 

“When Cas pulled Sam from the cage, he only pulled out his body and not his soul. We managed to get Sam’s soul back, but Lucifer had broken it, so Death put up a wall in Sam’s head so he wouldn’t remember anything and he’d be okay” he said “Everything was fine for a while, but then Cas went rogue and opened up purgatory and Leviathans escaped. They’re some kind of all powerful creatures that are really hard to kill” 

“I knew that angel was bad news” John muttered and Dean saw red. “That angel has always been there for me, he fucked up once, I’m not going to give up on him for that” He blurted out, without thinking. His father wasn't having any of it “He left your brother with out a soul!” he shouted “Is that what you call being there for you?” This was going to end in blood, but once again Mary defused the tension. “Sit down, both of you. John I swear to God, shut up and let your son talk. Dean, I understand that this angel, Castiel, means a lot to you, but you can’t talk to your father like that, we are still your parents.”

That got them both to calm down for the time being so Dean rolled his eyes but continued “We managed to put the Leviathans back into Purgatory but we lost Bobby, and Cas and I were trapped in Purgatory as well. In there I met a vampire, Benny, there’s an escape hatch in purgatory, only humans can cross it. He took us there and we crossed, but Cas couldn't so he stayed.” Dean knew it wasn’t his fault, he knew it was Castiel’s decision, but still the guilt wouldn’t fade even after all this time.

“When I came back, we found a way to close the gates of hell, forever. We almost had it, but in order for it to work, Sam had to die and I couldn’t bare that, so I talked him out of it and the gates remained opened.” He said. “Cas tried to make up for everything he did, so he and the Scribe of God, Metratron, they tried to close the gates of heaven as well, so demons would stay in hell and angels in heaven. Metatron was a dick and he lied. He wanted to take over heaven, so he used Cas, and he clipped the angels’s wings, he threw them out of heaven and he stole Cas’s grace” Dean was getting upset very fast and Mary noticed it right away.

“Honey, I think we’ve heard enough for today, it’s obviously been a long day for all of us,” she declared kindly, “there seems like there’s enough rooms here, can you show us where we can sleep?”

“Of course mum, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking” the three of them got up, Mary hugged her child and John didn’t even acknowledge him. They were angry, it would be fine in the morning, Dean would come back to his senses. Dean lead them down the corridor of rooms, “this is the bathroom,” he said pointing to a door on his right, “this is my room” he said pointing to the door with the number 11, “you can stay here, this used to be Charlie’s room, so it’s all set up” Dean told them pointing to the number 15, he seemed sad, Mary wanted to ask but it didn’t seem like the right time. “Sam’s room is number 21” he said before turning around entering his room.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Mary questioned John as soon as the door closed. “What are you talking about?” John asked, legitimately confused. He had done nothing wrong, Dean was being rude, he was being disrespectful and he was the one in trouble?

“I never wanted this life for my kids, that’s why I ran away from it!” Oh, she was mad about them being hunters. “What was I supposed to do? After you passed, all I saw was evil. Everywhere. I needed to find out what happened. I needed them to pay. Sam and Dean had to be prepared, I did what I was supposed to do!” John yelled “Then why does our son hate you?” She asked quietly.

John didn’t have an answer to that, so they changed into old fashioned looking pajamas that they found in one of the drawers. 

On top of it, there was a picture in a frame, it was Dean and another man with long shaggy hair next to him, Mary assumed that was Sam. The last time she had seen her son, he was nothing more than a squiggly red baby and now he was a full grown man. There was another person there as well, she had short curly hair, it was the brightest looking red she’d ever seen, ‘that must be been Charlie’ she thought, Dean was hugging her protectively and their smiles were dazzling. She wondered what had happened there, maybe they had a fight? Was she his girlfriend? Did she get sick of the hunter life? Dean had seemed pretty upset earlier on.

She put the picture down and went to join John in bed, he was facing the wall with his back to her. She assumed a similar position but with her back to him. “Who was Bobby?” She asked him, she had seen him react slightly when Dean mentioned they had lost him. “He was a hunter, he looked after the boys a couple of times when I had to leave on a long hunt” He didn’t seem very willing to talk so Mary left it at that, she would ask Dean later. Mary felt her eyes drooping and with that she drifted off to sleep.

 

Dean shut the door to his bedroom and sat down on his bed, this was a lot to handle. His mother and father were alive, it was what he’d always wanted, but they were all so different, they might be blood, but he wasn’t sure they were still a family. Sam and Cas were his family, they were always there for him and he would always be there for them. He loved his mother, of course he did, but he didn’t know her, he was four the last time he saw her. In his little eyes she was the answer to everything, she was unbeatable, she was perfect, but the moment she didn’t it shattered his heart. His father had always been a drill sergeant, he had taught him how to shoot a gun instead of how to ride a bike, how to swing a blade instead of how to play baseball. His father could argue all he wanted that he gave them what they needed, but that wasn’t true, he would be gone for weeks and sometimes he wouldn’t even leave enough money for food. Dean had to resort to stealing and on one occasion he got caught, it was the best that ever happened to him, and if he had been selfish he could have grown up normal, but he would never leave Sammy with his father. As long as Dean was there to take the blows, John wouldn’t lay a hand on Sam.

Dean took his phone and dialed Cas’s number, he picked up on the third ring “Dean?” came Castiel’s voice through the phone “How’s everything going?” he asked. “Hey sweetheart, it’s hard, I know they're my parents, but it doesn’t feel like it” Dean said. “It’s going to be fine, and it will get easier, you just have to get used to being in your lives again. What have you told them?”

“I told them everything up until the angels fell from heaven, I wanted to keep going, but my dad, he’s blaming everything on me” Dean confided in his angel, he had laid down on his side of the bed, Cas wasn’t coming home tonight, but it still felt wrong to sleep in the middle, so he pulled Cas’s pillow up to his chest “I miss you” he let out. Cas chuckled a little at that “I miss you too, Dean. Take it slow, you can’t expect your parents to take in ten years of your life in one sitting, sleep, love. I’ll concentrate on finding your brother, but you need to get some rest.”

“I love you, Cas” Dean told him. “I love you too” he replied and hanged up the phone. He tried to listen to Castiel, he did. But sleep wasn’t coming easy tonight, he was exhausted, but with John and Mary a room down the hall and Castiel somewhere, Dean was having a hard time falling asleep. His body overpowered his mind and he shut down around three in the morning. He didn’t want to face his parents in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 

When Dean woke up the next morning he didn’t feel more rested than he did before he went to bed. He knew he had to finish the story and once that was done, he had to tell them about him and Cas, he wasn't some secret Dean had to keep, he wasn't ashamed of him either. All the important people in his life knew, Sam, Jody, even Charlie and Bobby had known he was head over heels for the angel, so it wasn’t fair to Cas that he kept hiding their relationship to his parents, after al Cas’s dad (Chuck) knew so why shouldn’t John and Mary know. 

The clock on the bedside table read 7:03, so Dean got out of bed and headed towards the showers, that was surely going to wake him up. He didn't take long, but as he was leaving with a towel wrapped around his waist, he bumped into his father. “Morning dad,” Dean said uneasy but all he got was a grunt of acknowledgement, Dean wasn’t sure why he was surprised, but he headed back to his room anyways.

Half an hour later, Dean was dressed and making breakfast for his back-from-the-dead parents, it still felt weird to say it, he hadn’t had a mother for over thirty years and let’s face it, John had never been a real father to them ever. Just as he was dividing the eggs into three plates, Mary walked in wearing dead guy pajamas, “Good morning son,” she said and gave Dean a kiss on the cheek. “Morning, mum” he replied with a smile on his face. John walked in a few moments later, grabbed a plate and sat himself down. 

He was expecting Dean to apologize for his behavior the night before, but it never came. Mary on the other hand glared at her husband, she grabbed both her’s and Dean’s plates and set them down on the table. 

Once the three of them were seated Dean spoke up, “I guess I should finish telling you guys what happened,” he started. “Not now, Dean, let’s have breakfast. Like a normal family,” Mary admonished. Dean snorted, this was no where near normal, but he complied. 

After they had finished breakfast, Dean dumped the dishes in the sink, he would do them later. Well, no he would ask Cas to do them later and then offer compensation. “Mum, Charlie left some stuff over here. It’s probably going to be a little small, but it will fit better then the old guy clothes. Dad I’ll get you some of Sam’s clothes, he’s a giant so I’m sure something will fit” Dean said and left to retrieve the clothes before either of his parents could say anything. 

A few minutes later, everyone was dressed and sitting down in the War Room, Dean brought them all a cup of coffee each and then sighed, “I’m almost done, I promise. Just bear with me,” he said, “after the angels fell, Sam was in a coma, the trials to close the gates of hell left him too weak. So I tricked him into saying yes to an angel, Gadreel, who healed him.” He could feel his parents judgment but he decided to continue.

“Metatron tried to become God, and the angels were having a civil war. Cas became human when he lost his grace, and all of earth was heaven’s battlefield. It wasn't pretty. Abaddon, a knight of hell, was the one who killed the men of letters, she came to this time when Henry did and we had to deal with her. The only way to kill her was with the first blade.” Dean explained. 

He saw the confused looks staring at him so he kept going “the first blade is the blade Cain used to kill Abel. But it only works if the person holding it possesses the Mark of Cain, so Cain passed it on to me” Out of everything that happened, this is what Dean was dreading the most. “What I’m going to tell you next, you’ve got to believe me, I never meant for it to go that far. I didn’t know the consequences and I paid the price.”

“What did you do, son?” Mary asked him. She tried to seem open and understanding, but Dean could see the dread in her eyes. “I killed Abaddon, but Metatron, he killed me. But I didn’t die, instead I turned into a demon,” not even John could keep a straight face. “Sam and Cas they turned me back into a human, with an exorcism the men of letters were working on. However, the Mark was taking it’s toll, I was becoming more and more aggressive, Sam, Cas, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena, Crowley’s mother, they found a spell in the book of the damned that would get rid of the Mark. We lost Charlie, and I was so angry, but Rowena managed to make the spell work and in the process we freed the Darkness.” It was almost over, Dean had to keep going, the worst part was over, he couldn’t bring himself to look his parents in the eye.

“The Darkness is God’s sister, he’s kind of a jerk, and they had a falling out but we managed to get them to love each other again, and that’s why they brought you back.” Dean said with an air of finality. They were all silent for a few minutes, trying to process everything that had happened. “Son, none of this was your fault. I can see the guilt that’s weighing you down, but honey, you did the best that you could with the hand you were dealt.” Mary stood up and hugged her son, Dean wasn’t crying but he was close. It was the first time he had said everything out loud, gotten everything out in the open. He knew he was no saint, but when he put everything all together, he realized how much he had fucked up the past few years, maybe his dad was right, he was a failure. 

John remained eerily silent, but even he couldn’t stay mad at his son for long. He’d prepared his boys for vampires and werewolves, and maybe the occasional demon now and again, but God? The apocalypse? He went up to his wife and son and hugged them both.

Mary let go, tears on the brim of her eyes, “can we asked questions now?” she asked with a smile. “Sure mum” Dean said with a chuckle. “Honey, was Charlie your girlfriend?” she inquired, trying to sound as understanding as possible. “No, she was my best friend. She was really smart, and kind, and it hurt a lot when she died, but she wasn’t, we weren’t dating” Dean answered fondly, it still hurt when he thought about Charlie, and deep down he still blamed Sam for her death, but slowly he was starting to forgive.

His mother looked at him unconvincingly but gave a small nod, “what about Bobby?” she asked. Dean and John both tensed up, Bobby had been more of a father than John had ever been, and Dean had no qualms admitting it, but he parents had just found each other again and he didn’t want to cause a rift between them. Which is why until now he hadn’t mentioned his father’s drunken beatings, or the child neglect he and Sam were subjected to all of their childhood. “Bobby was like a father,” Dean said carefully “he was always there for, through everything, the apocalypse, the Leviathans, he even helped us with the Mark of Cain, even though we interrupted his time in heaven. He was the one that taught me how to play baseball when I twelve” Dean said but he offered no more. Mary was going to keep pushing, it made no sense, why would they need a surrogate dad if John had been alive and looking after them, however Dean’s phone started ringing before she could say anything.

Dean walked away before answering, “morning sunshine, what have you got for me?” he greeted Castiel in an unusually cheery voice. “Hello Dean, I think I found Sam. Are you alright?” Not that Castiel wasn’t pleased with Dean’s cheeriness, but it seemed somewhat fake, like he was trying to convince himself that everything was just fine. “I’m fine, Cas, I promise. Where’s Sam?” He asked. Castiel told him about a farm rented out by a British woman, but it was heavily warded. “Ok Cas, I’ll be there soon. Keep an eye on it, but be careful, I don’t need you to be kidnapped as well” Dean said. “Ok, Dean. I love you” Cas said. “I love you, too angel” Dean responded and hung up the phone.

Dean walked back to where his parents were in the adjacent room “Cas found a farm where he thinks they are keeping Sam, I’m going to head out. You guys stay here and help yourselves to anything” he told them

“Hang on, you think you’re leaving us here? When your brother’s in danger? I don’t think so, we’re coming with you” Mary said firmly. Dean tried to argue, but in the end his mother won and all three of them were packed into a car from the bunker’s collection. “Where’s the Impala?” John asked Dean gruffly “Cas took it, his car was kind of trashed, so I gave him the Impala so he could look for Sam” Dean answered, cool as a cucumber. It was true that’s why he had given him the keys, but Cas could’ve taken any other car. No, Dean had given him the keys because he knew it would piss off John and with his mother here, he wasn’t above pettiness.

John looked livid “you gave the angel the keys to my car?” He asked, outraged. “No, I gave Castiel the keys to my car” Dean responded, keeping his cool. Mary looked at her husband sternly and he got the message, Dean turned on the radio and no one said anything for the remainder of the journey.

Extracting Sam from the farmhouse was interesting, Cas couldn’t go in with them because of the warding and John and Mary had refused to stay outside with Castiel, mainly John. Cas tried not to feel offended, after all they didn’t know him, but they could at least give him the benefit of the doubt. Dean went in and got captured, Mary and John went in afterwards and got captured, Cas and came in with other British guy who disabled the warding and they were all able to leave mostly unharmed, except for Sam who looked like he had gone through a tornado, several times.

The ride back home was uncomfortable to say the least, Cas had suggested Dean and the rest of the Winchester clan go home in the Impala, and he would drive the other car back, but Dean told him to zap it back to the bunker and drive home with them. Dean was driving and Cas was in the front him next to him. Mary and John were sitting in the back seat with Sam in the middle. 

“So, mum, dad, you guys are alive?” Sam said with a mixture of shock and awkwardness. Mary hugged her son close to her and Sam felt his mother’s embrace for the first time since he could remember. “Chuck and Amara brought him back” Dean said matter of factly. “You never did explain who Chuck was” his mother said. “Right, yeah, well remember how I mentioned Chuck was a prophet who helped us out during the apocalypse, well turns out he was actually God in disguise.” Dean told her. “You told them everything?” Sam said at the same time Mary said “Oh my God, you actually met God”.

“I told them the condensed version of what went down” Dean told his brother, Sam winced thinking back to everything he and his brother had gone through “That was the condensed version?” Mary asked shocked.

They were nearing the bunker when John piped up “the angel lives here as well?” He asked in a slightly distrustful tone. Sam realized his brother hadn’t exactly told their parents everything. Dean parked in the garage and got out of the car, his face visibly angry, Cas tried to calm Dean down a little with his angel mojo but Dean wasn’t having any of it. “Castiel, not the angel, Castiel lives here too, this is as much his home as it is ours and you have no right to question it” Dean said loudly, bordering on yelling. “He’s family” Sam chimed in.

Dean had no idea were the courage came from, maybe it was the adrenaline running through his veins, maybe it was all that pent up anger against his controlling father, who knew, but he grabbed Castiel’s hand, took a step forward and in the calmest voice he could muster he said “Cas is my boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta and I don't always read through what I've written, so if you notice any mistakes, feel free to point them out!  
> Also if you want to follow me on tumblr, this is me --> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/winter-bells


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 

You could’ve heard a pin drop with the silence that followed, Dean’s bravery faded away as quickly as it came, Cas was more worried about Dean than anyone else, Sam was both proud of his brother for coming and concerned for him at the same time, Mary was shocked John hadn’t mentioned Dean was gay, it was fine either way, but a little heads up would’ve been nice, but a quick glance at John told her he didn’t know. And John, his face turned red and then a deep shade of purple, you could see the anger boiling inside of him.

“I’ve been gone for years, I come back, and you have disrespected me at every turn. You act like an insolent little brat and now I find out that my son is an pillow biting faggot that’s fucking a male angel” John bellowed, “I know you Dean, you ain’t no pansy. You’ve fucked more women than Hugh Hefner. What the hell has that angel done to you?”  

“Actually, angels have no gender” Cas supplied behind Dean, Dean on the other had was outraged “You have no right to come into my life and question my boyfriend’s intentions. He’s done nothing but be here for me, he’s always put me and Sam before himself something you have never done.” Dean yelled at his father “And all this talk about being my dad, please, Bobby was more of a father than you ever were. Bobby raised us, Bobby made sure we were fed, Bobby never laid a hand on me, unlike you” Dean spat, and that’s when the punches flew.

John punched Dean in the face, Dean was taken by surprise and fell, but when John went to take a second hit, he found himself been forcefully thrown back against the wall of the garage. Castiel had kept calm until now for Dean’s sake, but there was no way in hell he was going to let him be abused by his father again. “I don’t care what you think about me, I don’t care what you say about me, but know this, you ever lay a hand on Dean again, I will end you. I have countless lives on my hands, one more won’t be a problem” Castiel’s voice was usually deep, but right now it was the deepest Sam had ever heard it. Cas walked to where Dean was sitting on the floor and cupped his face, Dean’s eye was starting to swell, but Cas took care of it before it bruised.

Sam was shocked, he knew his dad wasn’t going to take his brother’s relationship well, but he thought he was just going to walk off to his room and stew for a while before he came around. Dean and John had always been closer than Sam and John, but he was starting to remember, maybe it wasn’t closeness. No, Dean had always obeyed John to protect Sam. There were times when his father was drunk off his ass and Dean would come home with a black eye or a broken nose, he would usually blame it on a hunt gone, but Sam had never, in all his hunting years, been punched in the eye by a vampire or a werewolf. 

Fuck. His brother had taken John’s beatings so Sam wouldn't have to. “You need to leave, now.” Sam said sternly. “You knew about this? About your brother and that, that bird?” Wow Cas had really done a number on him.

“Yes, I’ve known about it since day one. And there is no one better for my brother than Castiel. So I’m going to say this one more time, leave.” Sam had never seen eye to eye with his dad, and if it ever came to choosing between him and Dean, he didn’t even have to think about it. 

John stood up, first Dean and now Sam, he couldn’t believe it. He looked over at Mary, her mouth wide and eyes shocked with a tinge of hurt. At least someone had some sense here. “Let’s go, Mary” he ordered. She didn’t move. “No,” Mary had been silent up to this point, not because she hated or judged Dean, not because she thought dating an angel was wrong, no, she was hurt. 

Never, since the moment she had met John, had she believed he was anything but a good man. She could have excused him raising her children as hunters, he felt they should have been prepared. She could have excused him prioritizing weapons over sports, he was a marine. She could not however, excuse her children not having food on the table, and she certainly couldn’t excuse her baby boy being hit by his father. 

“No, John. You are going to walk out that door and you are going to do it alone. I trusted you, I trusted you to raise my children, my little boys, the best way you could. I don’t know the full story, but I’m starting to think it wasn’t anything like you said. Go, I don’t want to see you anymore.” Her face seemed calm but her voice said otherwise. John stood the gawking, but when he made no move to leave, Mary grabbed the closest thing to her, which happened to be a wrench, and threw it towards him, narrowly missing his head. “I said leave,” she yelled.

John walked out without looking back. Everyone was silent for a moment, Dean was still on the floor with Castiel wrapped around him, Sam was opposite him with a shocked expression on his face, like he couldn’t believe what was going on. Mary was in between the two of them, forming the tip of a triangle, her hand was still in the air, tears forming on the brim of her eyes, threatening to spill. 

Dean couldn’t take it anymore, he got up and hurried to his bedroom, that’s when everyone else reacted. They all tried to follow him, but Castiel stopped them. “I think it’s best if we don’t crowd him right now,” he told them “thank you, both of you. I don't think he expected you to take his side, but now he knows you love him, unconditionally. Mary, I know you must have a lot of questions, but he needs time to heal, and you need time to process. We can talk in the morning” and with that he headed to his and Dean’s bedroom.

 

Castiel walked into the room not knowing what to expect, but Dean sitting on the bed with an empty, broken expression tore his heart. He sat down next to Dean and said nothing, instead, he pulled the righteous man into his chest and just held him there. Dean was not the crying type, he was the punching until you passed out type, but still he could not stop the tears that ran down his face. Cas did his best to soothe him, Dean wasn’t sobbing per say, he was just silently letting the tears make their way out. 

Cas pulled them down onto the bed, embracing Dean, making sure he felt loved. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and whispered “it’s going to be alright, Dean”. 

“I’m not sure it will, Cas. I just tore my family apart” Cas sat up, this is what he was worried about? John had been abusive and he was still worried about protecting him? “Dean, look at me please,” Castiel begged, it took a moment, but Dean’s green eyes met Castiel’s bright blue ones. 

“You did nothing but love me, that wasn’t what broke your family. John did that on his own, by being a homophobic assbutt, your mum, she doesn’t blame you, she wants to get to know you and love you for who you are. And Sam? He already loves you, you mean the world to him, your family is here, with you” Cas said, he held Dean’s face in his hands, he spoke with so much love and adoration, Dean had a hard time looking at him “You once said family doesn’t end it blood, well it doesn’t start their either. John may have been your father but he wasn’t your daddy.” 

Dean chuckled, unable to hold back a laugh “Castiel, are you quoting Guardians of the Galaxy on me?” Cas blushed but answered anyways “I know you secretly love the marvel movies, even if you pretend to hate them, and called Charlie a “nerd” for watching them” 

Dean’s previous self pitying moment had vanished and he was now feeling the exhaustion that usually comes after an adrenaline rush. He laid back down on the bed, “that’s not true, Cas,” he said trying to deny it. “Dean, I have actually seen your DVD collection that you hide at the back of the closet. I use that closet too,” damn it he was sure Cas would never find it and his secret nerdiness would remain a secret. “I don’t know what you are talking about” He said petulantly, but Cas just leaned in and kissed him, Dean raised his arms and pulled Cas on top of him, deepening the kiss. Dean unbuttoned Cas’s shirt and pulled it off him. When he went to unbutton his pants, Cas stopped him, “not tonight, Dean” he said and pulled away, Dean wanted to tell Cas he was fine, but truth was he was exhausted. Instead he let Castiel undress him and they snuggled together and drifted off to sleep.

 

Mary wasn’t sure how to feel, she had so many emotions conflicting inside her head, she noticed the tension between Dean and John immediately, but she chalked it up to testosterone, she never thought there could be nothing more going on. When Sam came home she noticed how close her boys were, they relied on each other, and Castiel, but no one else, not even their father who had been around a lot longer than she had. It didn’t necessarily bother her, but it did strike her as odd, they both seem thrilled to see her, but not John. Now she understood why.

When she had come back to life, on that bench next to John, she had been confused and disoriented. John had told her what their lives had been like until he sold his soul to save Dean. He said he trained the boys to be hunters, that they had a home but where constantly heading out across the country. He said he had always been there for them, never once leaving there side, he said he and her boys were a team until the day he died. But Sam and Dean didn’t think of him as a teammate, but more as a drill sergeant. 

And now she was sitting here, on a bed in her children’s home and she found out that not only had John left her babies alone frequently, he had also used Dean as his punching bag, and Dean took it if it meant his baby brother would be left alone. Mary couldn’t take it and she threw up in the waste basket next to her bed. John had never mentioned Bobby until she brought it up, but apparently he had been more of a father to those boys than John ever had. She went to bed and tried to get some rest, but her brain kept running around and the guilt wouldn’t let her sleep.

 

It’s not that Sam wasn’t worried about Dean, because he was, Dean had this tendency to take the blame for everything even global warming, but he was confident that Cas would be able to talk him down from it. Sam had been there from the beginning through it all, Cas pulling Dean out of hell, Cas losing his way but Dean helping him find it again, Dean bearing the Mark of Cain and Cas working so hard to keep their relationship functional, even the whole ‘Dean will love me one day’ Amara had going on. He had watched them become allies, then friends, then family and finally their lightbulb turned on and they became something more. Sam couldn’t see Dean with out Cas or Cas without Dean, it seemed natural to him, he had never really stopped to think that they were to men entering a relationship, to him they were always Cas and Dean.

Sam knew his dad would never accept Dean, so it wasn’t really a surprise when he flipped out, but he hadn’t really expected it to go down that way. All he wanted to do was go tell Dean how much he loved him, but right now it’s wasn’t what Dean needed, what they all needed was a good night’s sleep to mull over everything. Tomorrow, he would let Dean know he was on his side no matter what, and from what he saw his mother was on his side as well, so Dean and John would probably never speak to each other again, Mary and Cas were more than enough family for the two of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some people feel like John did the best he could, but honestly he didn't. To me, Bobby was the one that gave everything for them. Sure John gave his soul for Dean but he also told him to kill Sam, so...


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